Dostoevsky don’t play

“love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams”

Dostoevsky does have a way of breaking through all the BS

I’m thinking: I open a book, watch a movie, read a bumper sticker maybe. I’m fooled — my imagination tells me I’m personally involved (which I am at some level — but at No Cost to me personally) in a truth; honorable deed; heroic act;  acts of love &c. When in reality; I’m just looking from outside in; just another fooling incited by someone else’s imagination who uncovered his or her fooling from a second hand source void of any action, any real care, or sacrifice — then put to paper. Maybe.

Dostoyevsky points out the fact that Love & Care are real;  based on action — in many cases — cost to the career can be much; a distinction should be made between imagination and deed…one can be had from a seated position, in a warm room surrounded by wonderfilled distractions. The other comes at a price.

Thank you Dostoevsky for pointing out — yet another flaw in my character.

That’s all I got imgres

Cows, Bulls, and Billygoats

Note to ? … “let’s say” self

Blindness, closed minded, hypnotized.

Limited exposure to “points of view” — comfort zone only
“The Herd” feeds you the mushrooms grown in the pasture
On top of the excrement left behind by the Bull
U binge on this fungus; embrace its effects on imagination

Wake up man!

Many fine minds/spirits expressing beautiful thoughts
To be embraced/pondered/ weighed, and given away
U Bypass them? –why? … Your views are solid and correct?
No!…to conform to the “The Herd” — to eat the mushrooms

You fool!

“The Herd” disapproves, you yield to the disapproval
Turn away from the beauty, expression, bright shining stars
All sects, colors, belief systems bring to your front door dailey
New prospective/fresh thought/wisdom pearls…love


They knock You don’t answer
Someone might see!
A Cow? A Bull? — Billygoat perhaps
Run, lift yourself up; fly away

You eat too many mushrooms anyway.

Jeff Bertolotti11988745_10205763174538551_8854077310226066420_n

Movie theater shooting again…

img_2998_copyYet another Shooting in a movie theater today; again…What I don’t get is the lack of media coverage in reference to psychotropic drugs being involved in most these cases, let alone the our culture not having any capacity whatsoever to embrace the reality of the side effects that arise from the insertion into our youths subconscious; a poison that works through everything from violent movies, to endless hours of blood and guts video games, in many cases occupying “all” these kids spare time; broken families, absolutely no family continuity, this and the general public under immense pressure just to keep a roof over their heads being “huge” factors, seems to go unnoticed by the media. We have a lot of pressures driving this engine into overdrive. Yet when these horrifying events take place, all we hear from the media is, guns guns guns, which would be fine, if they could also be so kind, as to educate us about drugs drugs drugs…If we target booze, entertainment, and meds; dam then we would have to take some personal responsibility and deal with this. Thats not going to happen; just screw the horns onto something that won’t interfere with our addictions…Politics at it’s finest…I think addressing the gun situation is fair, but not addressing the rest (which in my view is the major component of the problem) makes even addressing guns, then very unfair…smh

I have posted this list once before. I’m sure if they do a drug test on this last animal, there will be one more name to ad to this list…

• Eric Harris age 17 (first on Zoloft then Luvox) and Dylan Klebold aged 18 (Columbine school shooting in Littleton, Colorado), killed 12 students and 1 teacher, and wounded 23 others, before killing themselves. Klebold’s medical records have never been made available to the public.

• Jeff Weise, age 16, had been prescribed 60 mg/day of Prozac (three times the average starting dose for adults!) when he shot his grandfather, his grandfather’s girlfriend and many fellow students at Red Lake, Minnesota. He then shot himself. 10 dead, 12 wounded.

• Cory Baadsgaard, age 16, Wahluke (Washington state) High School, was on Paxil (which caused him to have hallucinations) when he took a rifle to his high school and held 23 classmates hostage. He has no memory of the event.

• Chris Fetters, age 13, killed his favorite aunt while taking Prozac.

• Christopher Pittman, age 12, murdered both his grandparents while taking Zoloft.

• Mathew Miller, age 13, hung himself in his bedroom closet after taking Zoloft for 6 days.

• Kip Kinkel, age 15, (on Prozac and Ritalin) shot his parents while they slept then went to school and opened fire killing 2 classmates and injuring 22 shortly after beginning Prozac treatment.

• Luke Woodham, age 16 (Prozac) killed his mother and then killed two students, wounding six others.

• A boy in Pocatello, ID (Zoloft) in 1998 had a Zoloft-induced seizure that caused an armed stand off at his school.

• Michael Carneal (Ritalin), age 14, opened fire on students at a high school prayer meeting in West Paducah, Kentucky. Three teenagers were killed, five others were wounded..

• A young man in Huntsville, Alabama (Ritalin) went psychotic chopping up his parents with an ax and also killing one sibling and almost murdering another.

• Andrew Golden, age 11, (Ritalin) and Mitchell Johnson, aged 14, (Ritalin) shot 15 people, killing four students, one teacher, and wounding 10 others.

• TJ Solomon, age 15, (Ritalin) high school student in Conyers, Georgia opened fire on and wounded six of his class mates.

• Rod Mathews, age 14, (Ritalin) beat a classmate to death with a bat.

• James Wilson, age 19, (various psychiatric drugs) from Breenwood, South Carolina, took a .22 caliber revolver into an elementary school killing two young girls, and wounding seven other children and two teachers.

• Elizabeth Bush, age 13, (Paxil) was responsible for a school shooting in Pennsylvania

• Jason Hoffman (Effexor and Celexa) – school shooting in El Cajon, California

• Jarred Viktor, age 15, (Paxil), after five days on Paxil he stabbed his grandmother 61 times.

• Chris Shanahan, age 15 (Paxil) in Rigby, ID who out of the blue killed a woman.

• Jeff Franklin (Prozac and Ritalin), Huntsville, AL, killed his parents as they came home from work using a sledge hammer, hatchet, butcher knife and mechanic’s file, then attacked his younger brothers and sister.

• Neal Furrow (Prozac) in LA Jewish school shooting reported to have been court-ordered to be on Prozac along with several other medications.

• Kevin Rider, age 14, was withdrawing from Prozac when he died from a gunshot wound to his head. Initially it was ruled a suicide, but two years later, the investigation into his death was opened as a possible homicide. The prime suspect, also age 14, had been taking Zoloft and other SSRI antidepressants.

• Alex Kim, age 13, hung himself shortly after his Lexapro prescription had been doubled.

• Diane Routhier was prescribed Welbutrin for gallstone problems. Six days later, after suffering many adverse effects of the drug, she shot herself.

• Billy Willkomm, an accomplished wrestler and a University of Florida student, was prescribed Prozac at the age of 17. His family found him dead of suicide – hanging from a tall ladder at the family’s Gulf Shore Boulevard home in July 2002.

• Kara Jaye Anne Fuller-Otter, age 12, was on Paxil when she hung herself from a hook in her closet. Kara’s parents said “…. the damn doctor wouldn’t take her off it and I asked him to when we went in on the second visit. I told him I thought she was having some sort of reaction to Paxil…”)

• Gareth Christian, Vancouver, age 18, was on Paxil when he committed suicide in 2002, (Gareth’s father could not accept his son’s death and killed himself.)

• Julie Woodward, age 17, was on Zoloft when she hung herself in her family’s detached garage.

• Matthew Miller was 13 when he saw a psychiatrist because he was having difficulty at school. The psychiatrist gave him samples of Zoloft. Seven days later his mother found him dead, hanging by a belt from a laundry hook in his closet.

• Kurt Danysh, age 18, and on Prozac, killed his father with a shotgun. He is now behind prison bars, and writes letters, trying to warn the world that SSRI drugs can kill.

• Woody __, age 37, committed suicide while in his 5th week of taking Zoloft. Shortly before his death his physician suggested doubling the dose of the drug. He had seen his physician only for insomnia. He had never been depressed, nor did he have any history of any mental illness symptoms.

• A boy from Houston, age 10, shot and killed his father after his Prozac dosage was increased.

• Hammad Memon, age 15, shot and killed a fellow middle school student. He had been diagnosed with ADHD and depression and was taking Zoloft and “other drugs for the conditions.”

• Matti Saari, a 22-year-old culinary student, shot and killed 9 students and a teacher, and wounded another student, before killing himself. Saari was taking an SSRI and a benzodiazapine.

• Steven Kazmierczak, age 27, shot and killed five people and wounded 21 others before killing himself in a Northern Illinois University auditorium. According to his girlfriend, he had recently been taking Prozac, Xanax and Ambien. Toxicology results showed that he still had trace amounts of Xanax in his system.

• Finnish gunman Pekka-Eric Auvinen, age 18, had been taking antidepressants before he killed eight people and wounded a dozen more at Jokela High School – then he committed suicide.

• Asa Coon from Cleveland, age 14, shot and wounded four before taking his own life. Court records show Coon was on Trazodone.

• Jon Romano, age 16, on medication for depression, fired a shotgun at a teacher in his New York high school.

Missing from list… 3 of 4 known to have taken these same meds….

• What drugs was Jared Lee Loughner on, age 21…… killed 6 people and injuring 14 others in Tuscon, Az?

• What drugs was James Eagan Holmes on, age 24….. killed 12 people and injuring 59 others in Aurora Colorado?

• What drugs was Jacob Tyler Roberts on, age 22, killed 2 injured 1, Clackamas Or?

• What drugs was Adam Peter Lanza on, age 20, Killed 26 and wounded 2 in Newtown Ct?

Bend over; smile…

imagesIt does seem to look as if the massively wealthy are finely having there way with us without to much concern for repercussions in response to them bending us over time and time again using mass media, pharmaceuticals, beer, and years of conditioning our minds to believe we are living in a democracy; (this, to meet their parasitic goals) it now seems they can pretty much do as they please at this point without any concern whatsoever. They just bumped up the gas prices here in california a dollar a gallon; not a peep about it at the pumps, or on the news for the most part, its as if this bump in the gas prices won’t affect everything else around it; food prices will soon have to follow, as well as many other necessities of life …Then we have “Habeas Corpus” (our very lifeline to free speech without concern for being swept up in the middle of the night and carried off somewhere without due process) this is now a faint memory of a time past that held within its grasp, at least–the sense of freedom. Our prisons are still holding more people in them than any other country on the entire planet thanks to Counterpro; much of which is represented by skin of a darker complexion than computer paper, or a specific flavor ice cream. Our middle class is GONE, people working two and three jobs to feed their kids, and sometimes with no health benefits because corporate america has figured out part time workers mean hefty quarterly reports, all this, and the money that was siphoned in 2006 to 2008 were diverted into the bank accounts of the very people who raped us in the first place; not one of these greedy foul Apes were even brought into a courtroom let alone charged and sent to day camp; they didn’t even have the respect to provide us with a well scripted show to ease the pain of this assault on american life. They are making more money now than ever before…And now it’s pretty much illegal to be an activists by way of crafty new statutes implemented into both local and federal law since the march on wall street….SMH; what happen to us? We use to be “badass”… Now we just roll over and ask not to be disturbed during TMZ as they have there way with us…

Here’s a few words from a real bad ass that knew what time it was..,!

“If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will… Men may not get all they pay for in this world, but they must certainly pay for all they get.”
Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass

Media, Mass Hypnosis…

11800487_10205147744393182_5804048377996374887_nMy concern is, and has been for a long time now, mass hypnosis of entire populations (us); this takes place in great part through mainstream media, sparking the imagination and seducing the senses into submission by way of very greedy power hungry people using all the intellectual tools at hand (not there own intellect, because most these Apes operate from a primal instinct; greed! but craftiness always leads them to the keepers of healthy intellect) to manipulate the minds and actions of the populus for them. Truth (manufactured truth) is then man made. It’s polished, distributed in a calculated manner, and managed by monkeys employed by Apes to maintain a fabricated normal; this “truth” usually molded in hands that are less than benevolent or caring in any way shape or form; we fall prey to this manufactured BS every time. Same way Einstein split the atom to cause a desired effect, our Apeish owners split us in order to obtain a desired effect. Division; conquer. It works every time. Walter Lippmann stated this back in the 60’s…

“We are told about the world before we see it. We imagine most things before we experience them. And those preconceptions, unless education has made us acutely aware, govern deeply the whole process of perception.”
― Walter Lippmann, Public Opinion

I think he was trying to tell us to wake up from our deep sleep…Funny, we out number these parasites millions to one, and yet we still find ourselves at their mercy…And they possess NONE!


imgresC.G. Jung brings an interesting question to the surface about forgiveness. My take: The fact we tend to overlook aspects of this blessed gift (forgiveness) by way of looking outward toward others where judgment takes place first-“then maybe”- forgiveness; this should indicate we have a few things worth looking into. This all conveniently takes place by leaning outside the subjective experiences for the most part. This seems to me to be the easier softer way for us humans to deal with our own inner turmoil and demons. Look outward; point, and respond to others and their behaviour. This gives us the illusion it’s not us, but them. The very twist in this subjective-objective trickery turns on us and bits us in the ass because we never allow the truth about ourselves to enter into the equation; let alone forgive ourselves, or anyone else for that matter. If we can’t forgive ourselves, how can we forgive anyone else? The quote comes from Jung (Memories, Dreams, Reflections) and is worth making sure what you’re reading “is” what Jung has written…We can sometimes read words and not see the author’s intent; our imagination can play tricks on us, and that sometimes is the problem with excerpts, and especially with this particular subject matter…

“The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. That I feed the hungry, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ — all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least among them all, the poorest of all the beggars, the most impudent of all the offenders, the very enemy himself — that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness — that I myself am the enemy who must be loved — what then? As a rule, the Christian’s attitude is then reversed; there is no longer any question of love or long-suffering; we say to the brother within us “Raca,” and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide it from the world; we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.”
― C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections

James 1:22-26
“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.”

Charleston Church Shootings…

I know we live a blessed time in history, (compared to the rest of human history) and a blessed country (in terms of having it very good in comparison to most everywhere else), but this country’s best potential is having the capability to see our ill’s, and make the changes necessary to rectify those ill’s..But to do that we have take a painful look around us…

Having just found about the shooting late last night, as I don’t watch a lot of the, so called “news” knowing better entertainment is always just a click away…Oh, did I refer to “the news” as entertainment…My bad; I meant corporate controlled bastardized “entertainment”… Now they have a story they can attach themselves too, and siphon the very life blood out this tragedy till the corps drys up and turns to dust, then take the dust and sprinkle it all over the next story (I’m sorry I sound harsh toward the news, as I have had first hand experience with them when my sister died, but also I feel they are a huge part of this problem!)…

10351528_10204928390629475_234250826377310526_nI can’t believe at the age of 60, after living in Atlanta Ga in 1968 when blacks had to sit in the back of busses, and drink from segregated water fountains that this hateful shit is still going on…! We as a country refuse to look at our history in any serious light or factual clarity, even though the details are still available to us, (and we better read it now before that changes) we don’t bother to look…Yet we continue to educate our kids with bullshit smoke and mirrors, and fairytales about hero’s…And then we allow ourselves to be inundated with propaganda through mass media…And we wonder how things like this shooting take place.

A punk ass loser kid walks into a church sits down and opens fire on good people for no reason at all except pure unadulterated hate and bigotry that has been placed into the very depts of his being by whatever tribe of Apes that raised this animal…This kid is just one of millions that carry this despicable illness within them, if it’s not Blacks, it’s Muslims, if not Muslims, then Gays, or Poor People, or maybe even you and me…This crap is born of ignorance, and nurtured by frickin idiots, and if you drill a bit deeper you will find a machine in place to keep the momentum going in order for the owners of said machine to continue to do what that have been doing best for 600 years now…

We are better then this dammit, or maybe I’m just bullshitting myself to flee from the sad reality of all this; my heart and prayers goes out to all the victims of this insane act, and their families…May these victims rest in peace.

“Maybe it’s time to just scrap the word “racist.” Find something new. Like Racial Disorder Syndrome. And we could have different categories for sufferers of this syndrome: mild, medium, and acute.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Americanah


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: